The Thread that Binds
by KohakuWolf
Summary: One day perhaps, when all of this is over, he will turn and look at me.
1. Wanweird

It was after two months of living together that Eren brought Mikasa to see the Survey Corps march out beyond the wall for the first time. Most of the soldiers looked weatherworn and tired, but some were wearing pale smiles. Mikasa knew they were not real. They were fastened too tightly on their faces, as if they had been sewn there. She wondered if they hurt.

"Look, Mikasa!" Eren exclaimed, shaking her arm. Now there was a _real_ smile. "These are the heroes! They fight for our freedom!"

The eagerness in his face made her feel ill. She did not want to picture Eren leaving the city on horseback with them one day, his smile one of those made from needlework and sorrow.

But Eren was looking at her now, clutching her sleeve, searching her face for joy to match his own. As much as she yearned to give him what he wanted, she could not feign excitement. "What good is it to be brave?" she asked quietly. She knew enough to know that half of these men and women would be dead by nightfall.

Eren's expression fell and became stern. "Being brave is how I saved your life."

The words crippled her, and she looked down, feeling foolish and ashamed. She began to fumble an apology, but before she could churn out the words, Eren grabbed her shoulder. She looked at him and found that there was no scorn in his eyes, only tenderness and pride.

"Being brave is how you saved my life, too."


	2. Brontide

Mikasa met Armin soon after she began living with the Jaeger family. He was soft-spoken and a bit timid, but he was kind to her and he adored Eren- if she knew nothing else about him, that would be enough.

Over time she discovered that the books he was passionate about reading were the reason that Eren was so passionate about freedom. Eren beamed at her the day she asked if she could read one.

"What is this?" she asked in astonishment, pointing at one of the dog-eared pages.

Armin's face lit like a lantern. "It's a volcano," he said. "There are a lot of them beyond the walls. See that red fire there? It's called lava!"

Mikasa stared in awe of the exotic lands pictured, wondering if such magnificent things really existed. She flipped the page.

"That's called barley," Armin told her enthusiastically. "Outside, there are entire fields covered in it."

"It looks like your hair," she said absentmindedly, and Eren laughed while Armin turned as red as the lava.

Before they went home for the day, Armin pressed the old leather book into Mikasa's hands. "I've read this hundreds of times," he told her. "You can take it home with you until you finish it, if you want."

That night, Mikasa curled up against the window and devoured page after page. It had been at least an hour when she heard small footsteps quietly padding towards her room. Eren's head poked through the door. "Are you still awake?"

She nodded, burrowing her face deeper into her scarf. "I'm reading Armin's book." Eren slid into her room, silently shutting the door behind him. He was bundled from head to toe, his cheeks glowing like toasted apples against the winter air.

"Do you need a candle to see? It's dark in here," he murmured.

"It's okay," she said. "The moon is bright tonight." She held up the book beneath the window's glass to show him. The silvery light danced on the pages, bathing the illustrations in a gentle glow.

"But it's freezing in here," Eren huffed. "Aren't you cold over there?"

Mikasa looked down at the goosebumps bubbling up beneath her exposed skin. She was quickly outgrowing her old nightgown. "A little," she admitted.

With that, Eren threw her door open again and dashed away into the darkness. Mikasa sat up in confusion, wondering if she should go after him, but within an instant he had returned. He sauntered over to her and dumped a thick wool blanket over her head. She wriggled her face out of it, peeking up at him. "Thank you," she whispered.

"You could get sick, you know?" he said dismissively. He sat down next to her and scooted under the blanket. He squirmed a bit as Mikasa sidled up next to him, leaning lightly against his side, but he settled as she held the book up over their knees.

"My favorite part is when it talks about the different oceans," he said, flipping through the pages. "They're full of salt and you can sail over them. Swim in them, too!"

"I wonder if titans can swim," Mikasa mused.

"No way," he scoffed. "People used to drown in the oceans sometimes. Titans are too big to swim, so they'd drown, too." He sighed. "I wish they would. If they all drowned, we could leave the walls and see the oceans ourselves."

Mikasa thought that the oceans sounded frightening, but she decided that if Eren wanted to see them, then she did too.

"What's your favorite part?" Eren asked.

"Mmm," she hummed, flipping through the creased pages. "This," she said, stopping on a page filled with brilliant colors and lights. "Fireworks."

Eren's face broke out in a wide grin. "I like those too! They can explode into different shapes, did you know that? And they sound like thunder!"

Mikasa smiled softly. "They're beautiful. I wish I could see them."

Eren was silent for a few moments, his brows furrowing as if in deep thought. "You will," he proclaimed suddenly.

"Huh?"

"You will see fireworks," he said. "I'll show them to you. I promise."

The moonlight passed over his haunting green eyes, and they dazzled with such sureness and sincerity that Mikasa nearly believed it. After that they were silent, except to talk more about the book in hushed tones. Eren stayed up with her while she read, and they huddled on the floor together, sharing their warmth, until amber drops of morning dew began to dapple the windows and Carla sent them back to bed.

It was past midnight a week later when Mikasa awoke to Eren poking her cheek.

"Mikasa, wake up," he whispered hurriedly. She groaned as she sat up and wiped the sleep from her eyes. "It's the middle of the night," she mumbled.

"So what? Come on, I want to show you something."

As she roused further from sleep, she realized that Eren was fully dressed, bouncing lightly on his toes in eager anticipation. "What is it?" she asked.

"Just get dressed," he commanded. "It's a surprise."

Mikasa stood up groggily, pulling on her coat and snow boats and wrapping Eren's scarf securely around her neck. When she was finished, Eren took her by the hand and led her outside.

Their feet slapped the icy pavement as they snaked through the roads of the sleeping city. She trailed after him silently, her grip on his hand like iron, not understanding what was happening or where he was taking her. But she trusted Eren- wherever he went, she would always follow.

When he finally slowed and released her hand, they were in the large meadow clearing where they often gathered wood.

"We made it," he panted. "Good. I don't think anyone saw us, either."

"Why are we here?" she finally asked. "Are we going to get in trouble?"

Eren chuckled. "I might, but you won't. I brought you here to show you this." He reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out something small and silver. When she saw what it was, her mouth went dry.

"It's a gun."

"No," he snapped. "It's fireworks." She didn't understand. Her father had been a hunter. She knew what guns looked like, and that was most certainly a gun, albeit a small one. At the very least, it definitely wasn't fireworks. "Where did you get that?"

"I took it from Hannes while he was drinking. He didn't notice. But that doesn't matter." He walked a few paces away from her. "Are you ready, Mikasa?"

"For what?" she called back worriedly.

"To see fireworks!"

Mikasa opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, Eren held the gun over his head and pulled the trigger.

Sound exploded from the barrel, and Eren was knocked down from the recoil. Mikasa screamed, but it was drowned out by the booming sound. She ran to him and tried to help him stand, but he shook her off and pointed up, the excitement in his face evident. "Look!" he shouted. Mikasa looked.

As the gunshot soared up into the sky, a streaking red color accompanied it, sailing up against the stars. It pierced through the cold air, sending a line of powdery color into the heavens.

"It was a flare gun," she whispered hoarsely, staring up in shock.

"No," Eren said breathlessly. He smiled so brightly it could have dimmed the sun. "It's fireworks." She looked up again.

The scarlet smoke drizzled through the air, shining off the falling snowflakes and setting the sky ablaze with burning color. Mikasa gaped at the fiery cinders, recognizing the scene from the picture she had seen in Armin's book. _Fireworks_.

The two stared up at the vibrant rain, watching the embers dissipate. Mikasa watched in reverent awe until the smoke faded against the black canopy of the night. When she finally brought her eyes back down to the earth, she realized that Eren was looking at her, studying her face.

"I know it wasn't the real thing," he stammered suddenly, looking away as if frustrated. "I wanted to take more than one gun, so that there would be different colors like there was in the book, but Hannes only had one. I know it wasn't as good as the picture, but-"

Mikasa threw her arms around his shoulders. Eren shifted awkwardly at her touch, his arms at his side, his words trailing off in surprise. Mikasa's eyes welled up with tears.

"Thank you," she said as firmly as she could through her quivering lips. "Thank you."

They walked home carefully, evading the garrison and the military police who had been summoned to find the source of the flare (which was, evidently, red in color to signify an emergency).

When they returned home, Carla and Grisha stood at the door like many others in the town, awakened by the noise from the flare. Eren cringed when he saw them, but approached them all the same. This resulted in a fierce squabble, much denial on Eren's part, and a shower of kisses from Carla when her anger dulled into relief that they were unharmed. All the while Mikasa held her arms together, sniffling and smiling.

Eren had set more than just the sky aflame that night.


End file.
